We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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