Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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