Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize