The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
