dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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