you win again, gameday.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
