I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize