not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
