I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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