Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
