i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
