he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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