Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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