Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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