I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize