wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
