how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm gonna fight the coyote
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
