In the future we'll all be gay
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
