Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
