apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
