The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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