So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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