I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize