Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
