Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Your penis caused this!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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