I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
