Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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