Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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