Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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