just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize