We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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