U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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