belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
