I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think I just sharted jello shots
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