I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
