I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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