his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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