just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
