Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
