I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
