Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
