this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
