Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
