Dual....:-)
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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