where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
