Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
is it fun? or sober?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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