you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
