walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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