Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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