you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
