whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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