On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
