atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
