We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
