Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
