i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
