Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize