Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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