He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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