First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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