its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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