Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is it because I queefed?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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