I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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